My life now. AKA I need a nap

My previous life included naps.  Not every day.  But at least a few a week.  My previous life also included a lot of chillin' in from of the television with the kids.  Especially while Rick and I were living in the same house for so long trying to avoid each other by sequestering ourselves in separate rooms... only coming out to grab food now and then.

Now... I am BUSY!! Juggling work... kid time... friend time... and time with the man I love is mentally and physically exhausting.  Wherever I am... I have a bit of guilt/wishing that I was with the other.  I feel constantly pulled in several directions.  Gone are the hours wasted on Pinterest and facebook.  And I realize that stuff was lazy and a waste of time.  But obviously it was also time for me to completely unplug from thinking and interacting and thinking and doing and thinking.

I also miss the kids a lot.  They spend every weekend with Rick, so my time with them is basically an hour between when I get home from work and the gym and get chores and dinner done and they go to bed.

Don't misunderstand... I am deliriously happy.  I am in love.  I have awesome kids and fantastic friends and I just want them all... all the time.  And of COURSE I could take an evening off and lose myself in Pinterest. but I don't want to miss out on time with anyone to do that.

I know this is all new.  This is a transition time.  And we will all settle in to a routine eventually.   But until then...  I need a nap.  Like now.

Happy :)

Jumping in!!!

I have met someone. Someone amazing. Someone that makes me feel amazing every day. Makes me laugh my ass off and can talk my ear off and happily listens to me as I talk off his. ;-) Someone who, for the first time in my life, I care more about making sure HE feels amazing every day too, than I do about almost anything else.

We have moved fast. Too fast for the comfort level of some people in my life and I completely understand their concerns. Part of the quick comfort we felt with each other is because we worked together 12 or so years ago, so we already felt like we knew each other and instantly had something in common... Even though we are both completely different people now. I have jumped in with booth feet and have completely left myself vulnerable to getting very hurt. But you know what... I don't care. I have spent my entire life protecting myself from being hurt, always making sure I had the upper hand in relationships. Never showing my vulnerable side. As a result I led a life of negativity and hostility. I like to think that my life up until now was training me for a life of peace and happiness with the right person. Over the past several months I have worked very hard to learn from my mistakes in my marriage and my other close relationships and I am ready to practice all my new skills :)