A hall pass? Really?

Jessi just commented that EVERY TIME I see the trailer for that Hall Pass movie, I exclaim, "WHO WOULD REALLY DO THAT!!???"  Every time.  I didn't even realize I did it every time, but seriously... WHO WOULD REALLY DO THAT!??  Jessi thinks that ::::insert teenage girl voice here::: "Like.... I bet a lot of people are totally trying it now because movies totally influence people and society... and I bet that it's ending like REALLY badly all over the place."

Nothing exists in a vacuum.  Even if you were a moron enough to think  it might be a good idea for a week... would you REALLY not have the foresight to realize that someday... maybe not for a week... or a month... or even a YEAR... that shit is comin' back to haunt both of you.  There is no way in hell there would be no hurt feelings there.  That's just crazy talk.

And on a another slightly related but really funny note...

I was looking at cruise stuff online the other night and found this pdf....

The Swinger Cruise

Apparently the ship we are cruising on also offers a yearly "swingers cruise"  LOL... the LOLs and jaw drops of reading the pdf made it totally something I had to share with you all ;-)

An excerpt....

"PLAYROOMS – PLAYROOMS – PLAYROOMS
The preliminary plans for the playrooms are outstanding. Wow – itʼs Huge! When we said Bob & 
Tess went over every inch of the ship, a lot of time was spent on hashing out details for the play
room. First the logistics were considered; are there bathrooms close by and what about drink 
service. We hear there wonʼt be a shortage of mattresses either. Many popular themes are on 
the planning slate; chocolate room, bdsm room, fucking machines & sybians room. You get the 
idea. The one thing I can tell you for certain is that there will be plenty of space for play. A huge 
venue and a few smaller spots have been tagged as playrooms."


Yeah.... and we have circled right back to... WHO DOES THAT!!???  


Apparently a lot of people since.... 

Sunshine misses me.

<~~~ That's sunshine.  She lives at Paradise Beach in Cozumel, Mexico.  She sent me this e-mail a couple weeks ago.

Dear Colleen,

It has been a year since you took this photo of me and talked to me.  I miss you.  Please come to Paradise Beach and visit me soon or I will surely pull out all of my feathers or something.

Your's Truly (awwwwk),  Sunshine.

Well... how could I say NO to THAT!  She's such a pretty bird ;-)  So.... Nicole and I are ditching responsibilities. kids and men and running away to paradise.  Just like that.  That is how I roll damnit.  We are cruising on Royal Caribbean.  I know, I know... I said I would never cruise again, but that was the only way to get to Paradise Beach without a passport (can't get one fast enough to use for spring break)  So we will see if it's Carnival I don't like... or cruising in general ;-)

P.S.  If you don't believe that Sunshine really sent me this.. check out this photo that someone just posted on Paradise Beaches FB page... this bird has SKILLZ!!  LOL

P.P.S  LOL...comparing the photos... I don't think that is the same bird.  But you get the idea :-D

Weight Watchers. Again.

I went bridesmaid dress shopping on Saturday with my co-bridemaids who of course, are all thin and lovely.  I cried all the way home.  (Hormones may have played a little role in that.)


So... my choices are....

1. be a giant fat blob beside a bunch of thin pretty women. (No fucking thank you.)
2. not be a bridesmaid (again... no thank you, I love the bride and groom immensely and am delighted and honored that they want me to be a part of their wedding)
3. Get back to losing weight and not be a fucking blob.  Or at least less of one.

I choose #3.


I also, as I always do, roped/guilted a bunch of people into joining my efforts.  Misery loves company, right?




Karyn had the GENIUS idea that we should take *before* photos to help us get a good jumpstart.  I hope you got the sarcasm in the 'genius' part.  Ugh.  I was wearing a sweater that didn't show off my fat NEARLY enough, so I may or may not have done a quick shirt change in a vacationing co-worker's cubicle...LOL!


Oh... and here is a link to Karyn's Blog so that I am not alone in the posting of humiliating photos.


Karyn's Blog

I am very impressionable...

This is not new information to most of you.  I am strong and opinionated and I do what I want, when I want, but on the other hand.... I am an advertisers DREAM.  Example.  I LOVE my Droid X phone.  After years of whining about wanting Verizon to get the iphone, Verizon annouced they are getting the iphone!!  ...and I didn't even care.  My phone is better than an iphone.  Couldn't have cared less.  Until the commercials started.... 'the wait is over...."  "iphone and verizon... finally together..." "2.10.11"  After every commercial I have a brief moment of "OOOOOhhhh...  I WANT!!"  WHY!??  I DON'T WANT... I AM  SUCH A SUCKER FOR HYPE!!!!

Anyhoo.  My latest suck-in is the Kindle.  I'm sure it has NOTHING to do with the fact that Nicole just got one too.  NOTHING AT ALL!  The "clincher" was I saw a news story about a new book 'Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.'  I went on Amazon to buy the book and the kindle version was $2 cheaper.  So CLEARLY... I NEEDED a Kindle!!  It practically pays for ITSELF!!  (LOL)

So I am reading my new 'book' on my new Kindle... and the book is completely consuming my thoughts and making me question my parenting.  My kids are freakin' spoiled and undisciplined!  I don't want to be a 'Tiger Mother' and threaten to burn their toys if they don't complete the full daily 90 minute piano lesson... but I also don't want to be the mother who I am.  The mother who lets the kids quit everything they start because "it's boring..."  "it's too hard..." The mother who does not expect excellence and perseverance from my kids and falls for every excuse rather than fight with them about it...."I don't want to practice guitar right now, I'm at the last level of this game."  "I know you said I had to clean my room, but there is a party at _____ tonight, Can't I do it tomorrow?"  (and if you couldn't guess, tomorrow never comes)

One of the things she says in the book that really stuck with me was that NOTHING that you have to learn is fun until you are good at it!  So if you don't work to get good at things... you are NEVER going to have fun!

So... It's time to have some "FUN" here at the Jordan house!  LOOK OUT!!

What happens when football season ends?

Seriously.  I never thought I would be the girl who lives and breathes NFL.  The Jets were the underdogs against the Pats yesterday and we had a house full for the game... a house full of Pats fans!  I said before the game that win or lose, I am SO happy with this team and this football season.  Football has brought together great friends, great food, and great fun for the past few months.  The fact that the Jets are KICKING ASS is just icing on the cake!!

Back to school tomorrow.  Ugh.  I should be more excited.  I know I want to be a teacher.  I even took the opportunity to "teach" while driving Jessi and her friends to the mall today.  We had a great discussion about Martin Luther King Day and what it means, and how our lives are different because of him, and how they may be different had he never existed.  It was great!!!

I will leave you with the BEST POST GAME INTERVIEW EVER!!  It made me want to join the team and run onto the beat and beat the Pats asses all over again!!!



P.S.  As to the answer of my opening question.... It's not baseball or basketball.  Puke to both!

2010 in a nutshell and in no particular order

We went on a cruise.
We had lots of parties.
We lost Sampson :(
We went to see Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber in concert.
I became my office's official photographer.
Jessi cheerleaded... and then decided she was done with that.
Some of my favs got engaged.
Some of my favs a got pregnant.
Jessi started High School.
Sean played football.
Jessi played Field Hockey.
Jessi was out for the season with a knee injury.
I ran TWO 5k races!
I lost some weight.
I started biking.
We went to see the Black Eyed Peas.
We bought tickets to the Jonas Brothers and didn't go.
We finally went to Popham Beach.
We became a house of rabid football fans.
I watched 'Hard Knocks.'
I fell in love with the New York Jets.
I got closer to to being a certified teacher.
Rick didn't get a moose permit.
All the boys shot deer.
Jessi got braces.
I had some drama.
I fell back in love with Black Friday.
We got a new fridge.
We saw Nickelback and Three Days Grace and Buckcherry... and then the next night saw Toby Keith and Trace Atkins.
I had to get glasses :(  Jessi did too.
I finally tried Eggs Benedict, yum.

I have ONE resolution this year... and it's a BIGGIE....

To focus on the things in my life that REALLY MATTER and NOT on the things that DON'T!!!!!!

Christmas Vacation

I took a few days off after Christmas.  We had a GIANT snowstorm, so we have been pretty much sticking around the house.  ...Except for my daily run to Irving for fountain soda OF COURSE!!  I have gotten a crapload of stuff done around the house.  Lots of stuff that I had no inclination to do when I was working and going to school.  I even dug out the camera this morning to snap some pics... something I didn't even have the inclination to do on Christmas.

There is still a ton of stuff I want to get done, but if I don't, I am happy with what I DID get done.  I have to work tomorrow, but then I have 3 more days off, so YAY!

All the New Years Eve action will be here Friday night :)  I predict LOTS of dancing.  Dance Central for xbox Kinect MAY be the BEST GAME EVER!  I am SO sore from dancing!!

My list of 5 celebs I am permitted to... you know :)

Vince Vaughn-  He is a big funny, raunchy, sexy teddy bear.  

It's been awhile since I revised my list.  This revision was not easy.  I had to make some tough choices.  I had to make some cuts.  I tried to convince Rick to please just let me have 6.  He chose today to become a stickler for rules.

So without further ado.... and in NO particular order.....

Ryan Reynolds- Do I really need to say more.  AND he's back on the market... HOLLA!!!!

Do you smell what THE ROCK is cookin'!!??  Why yes... yes I do.  Those arms... those tattoos... that smile....  :::swooon:::

Ashton, oh Ashton... How I love thee... let me count the ways... your boyish mischief, your rugged good looks... your Nikon commercials....

Chef Michael Symon-I don't know what I love more, his arms or his laugh, or the fact that he can laugh while he chops stuff with those arms as he cooks me dinner.

OK Rick said NOTHING about honorable mentions....  hee hee.  Those must go to..... 

Tom Brady- One sexy piece of man meat.  But I hate him.  I hate him a lot.  And as a Jets Fan he would hate me too... so if it ever happened... it would be angry.  And it would be hot.  Hmmm.... maybe I need to swap him up into the rotation......

Shemar Moore-  Hot Hot Hot.  The Arms... the rich chocolate skin... the voice... yeah

Crappy Week so far... and it's only Wednesday.

Ugh.  What a week.  As a new convert to being a rabid football fan, I am also new to watching my favorite team get their asses handed to them.  A lot.  Like a really lot.  It was like the Patriots were playing a Pee Wee Football team in Jets uniforms.  Ugh.  It doesn't help that I chose a team that Pats fans hate and I live in the heart of Pats Fan country... so I have had to listen to some SERIOUS razzing since about 5 minutes into the game Monday night.  Again.  Ugh.  But it's just football.  Just a game.

More than enough real life drama to go around this week too.  School is wrapping up it's semester, and as usual, I left PLENTY to do at the last minute.  Work is beyond nuts... and will be til at least January,  And last but certainly not least, my dad is having some health issues that seem pretty serious, and that sucks.