Sunday, April 08, 2012

The end. AND the BEGINNING!!

My marriage is over.  There.  I typed it.  I was betrayed by the one person that I was supposed to be able to trust.  The one person who actually signed legal documents guaranteeing that trust.

I wallowed a bit.  I may still wallow a bit from time to time.  But overall I realize that it takes 2 to tango.  He did what he did and continues to do... and he is wrong.  But I too had my part in the demise.  I have known for years that he wasn't "the one."  We both knew.  Women are stronger.  I could live with that knowledge for the sake of keeping things together for the family until they were older and more prepared to deal with it.  He couldn't.

So.... I am apartment/house hunting.  My brother is going to join us in the move which will be a huge help financially... and non-financially too!  It means we need a 4 bedroom place, which will be a challenge to find.  But I am not in a huge rush.  As the days pass, my anger fades a little and Rick and I are actually able to be in a room and talk without my wanting to punch him in the face.

I have learned through this that I have the most AMAZING friends and family in the history of the universe!!! Seriously.  I never could have gotten through this without all the support they have given me.  And not just empty supportive gestures.  REALLY there for me... really telling me when I am being ridiculous and when my feelings are legit.  Letting me have my pain... and also pushing me to buck the fuck up and move on.  I am so thankful for this.

I have also learned that exercise (running in particular) = SANITY.  I can be about to fall completely apart in tears and anger into a puddle on the floor... go for a run... and come home with a clear head ready to take on whatever new drama the day has brought on.

2 comments:

Wendy said...

I am so sorry, never good to hear but it does happen! Stay strong, you can do this!! Yes you can!

Nicole said...

You got this, I am sad for how it all went down for you and the kids but excited to see what the future holds for you.
Love you