My Summer Vacation by Nokia Jordan

Ahhhh vacation. I was so looking forward to a week of freedom. A week of being unable to communicate with home -base...rendering me to little more than a big time keeping device. Things didn’t quite go as planned.

Saturday- YAHOO!! I am tossed into Colleen’s pink and orange LLbean tote bag and we are OFF! I don’t get to relax quite yet as even tho the rest of the family is in a car right in front of us...they all feel the need to call each other every 14 minutes. As we near Moosehead Lake I feel my reception dwindle down to nothing and am HOME FREE!! I am casually tossed onto the counter to hopefully be forgotten about until next Saturday. (Although she could have at least plugged me in so I could enjoy my week of R&R with full juice...but no such luck.)

Sunday- Ahhh....this is the life. I lounge on the counter all day and look forward to a week of the leisure.

Monday- HEY LADY! What the heck!? I am ripped from a delightful nap, stuffed into a hot pocket and spend half the day at some stupid fair thing roasting in the pocket as she strolls around. Then...just as a start to get used to the heat and relax–hoping they don’t notice that I have all my bars, I am ripped out of her pocket and passed around like a bong at a grateful dead concert for all to use. While I am glad to be helpful, I could have done without Colleen angrily yelling into me for over an hour until my battery died. This is supposed to be vacation for cryin’ out loud!

Tuesday- This was my D-Day. Once again I am ripped from my perch on the windowsill overlooking the lake (plugged in at least this time). Into town we go where I get to call Colleen’s brother Tim. Tim reports all is well at home...and that he has only burned down the upstairs. (Ha Ha ...apparently Tim only packed half of his sense of humor when he went to house-sit ;) ) On the way back to the camp I am resting happily in Colleen’s lap when suddenly she begins to scream at Rick to pull over...something about a huge spider. He does ...and Colleen jumps out of the car, and as she does so, I go flying onto the side of the road. Apparently she doesn’t notice as after things settle down, I watch the car drive away :( I spend the rest of the day baking in the sun by the side of the road watching he cars go by. It just gets worse as night falls and the rain begins to pour. I narrowly miss being stepped on by a moose and 3 deer.

Wednesday- Another day spent by the side of the road alternating baking in the sun and getting drenched in the rain and mud splattered on me by cars passing by. None of these cars are Colleen coming to rescue me....as I’m sure she thinks she has just misplaced my somewhere in her car or at the lake house. Again, I spend the night in the wilderness with the creatures and the rain. In the evening I see Colleen pass by twice...she thinks maybe she left me at the store...she thinks wrong. Despite her careless disloyalty to me, I still manage to field 5 calls and 2 text messages for her.

Thursday- I have resigned myself to my fate as roadkill. Just as my battery begins to die. I see our van slow down and Rick comes and rescues me!!! MY HERO!! I am wet, I am muddy and my screen is all messed up, but I have been SAVED! Rick brings me home to Colleen and she is ECSTATIC to see me! She takes me all apart dries me off and gets all the mud out from my insides. She plugs me in to charge and I show her my lights to let her know I it’s not time to order that new RAZOR phone just yet ;) As she notices my screen start to work, she gets out the blow dryer to try to dry out my insides. I am left on my ledge to recooperate and recharge. A couple hours later I am good as new!! I even show everyone my stuff in town later and make some calls :) :) :)

Friday- Things are back to normal. I am back on the counter. I get a little trip out onto the deck where the weirdo that bought me takes my picture with the beautiful scenery of Mt Kineo behind me. What a Freak.

Saturday- Time to head home! Vacation is officially over. And that’s not a bad thing...as my week of leisure was not all I had thought it would be ;)