Jaded

Nicole and I were talking about the term 'jaded' yesterday and what it REALLY means. I didn't think I was jaded...just bitchy...lol. But just now as I was watching Law and Order:SVU, it hit me. I am totally jaded. The scene was a detective rescuing a terrified child from a dog cage. He reached his hand into the hand offering it to the child. Rather than be horrified and sad about the treatment of this child...my first thought was, "That kid is totally going to bite him." That's pretty bad, huh? I spent several years working with abused and mentally challenged children. Before I did this work, I felt sad for abused children and assumed that they were sad, little children that bounced right back once they were removed from the abuse. I learned quickly that is often not the case. The children I worked with turned the abuse they were given into abuse against others. They were highly dangerous to other children, adults and animals. Working with these kids got me spat on, kicked, bit, punched, head-butted, pinched, dug, and called things _I_ have never even said out loud. Reaching out to help these kids was sometimes akin to sticking your hand in an alligators mouth. It's really hard to feel badly and sympathetic to someone who would stab you with a pencil without a second thought. I actually quit my job earlier this year, partly because of very thing. It is such helpless, useless feeling to work with these kids day in and day out, creating a bond with them, only to have come within 2 inches of stabbing your eye out with a fork when you tell them that it's not 'ok' to throw food across the room. It just got old.



Wow...that was a fun blog, huh?

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