The Omen...and I'm not talkin' bout the movie

The Creative Memories lady I had been using is not the best 'call returner' in the world, so I found another lady in my town. I needed a new set of blades for my cutting system because I lost mine in the move. (let's just ignore the fact that I am 99.9% guaranteed to find them within the week now). I ordered the mini-power sorter box as I have heard great things about them on the boards, and Nicole ordered the large box so I was picking that up for her too. So I went to pick up my stuff at my new CM lady's house. (Wow...you are thinking...this is really boring and why is Colleen blogging about doing errands? Just wait.... ) I arrive at the house after having to call her again for the address that she had just given me 15 minutes prior...that I had already forgotten. I step into the house and am immediately accosted by a large yellow lab jumping all over me and the large, pungent odor of said dog ;) Fortunately, I watch the dog whisperer and with a stern stare and a "pshhhht"...said dog goes away. (damn I love that show, but I digress) After the dog comes the 3 (maybe 4) year old and the still in his jammies (it's 11am) eating a big bag of cheetos and pratically glowing orange cheese powder. He is yelling at me to come into the livingroom with him and "come see the mess I made!!" As he yells he is grabbing my hand and about yanking my arm out of it's socket. His mother says (in a tone without even a HINT that she really means it), "Jake (name changed to protect the naughty), she doesn't want to see the mess you made, go play." He doesn't. He doesn't let go of my hand either. So I yank it away and say (in a tone-of-voice that I'm thinking he has never heard before), "I am not going with you. I am talking to Mommy right now." He lets go....and KICKS ME in the shin! His mother says nothing. MORTIFIED, I say, "PLEASE do NOT kick me! That is NOT nice" He gives me the VERY WET raspberries... repeatedly. His mother says (in same voice as her first 'redirection') "Jake, you shouldn't kick people. That's not nice. If you want to go to Grammy's house you need to be good. Now please go in the livingroom" He bounds into the livingroom and she starts to show me my stuff I write out the check and back comes Damien. He begins to once again dance around me with an endless chorus of raspberries, and when he goes behind me he PUNCHES me in the BUTT...while blowing raspberries so forcefully I can feel the air vibrations hitting my ass. At this point, I am ignoring this demon as I just want to get out of this place and never look back. Jakey-poo wasnt having that though...as after the butt-punch/raspberry combo, he dances around to the front of me in a sing songey brag which I don't pay attention to the first couple times...then I realize what he is singing... "na na na na na...I spit chips all over your butt...ha ha ha ha ha" Jaw on the floor. I turn butt to mother and say "Did he just SPIT on me, FOR REAL!?" She says, "yeah he did...I'm sorry. Jake it's not nice to spit on people. Do you want to go to grammy's house? Go back in the livingroom." (ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME...I WOULD HAVE MY KID HANGING FROM THE RAFTERS BY THIER TOENAILS BY NOW!!!) I say, "Well....can I get a paper towel please!?" She goes and gets me one as I wipe all the digusting chewed up cheetos off my ass into her trashcan, she walks Jake into the livingroom again. I am livid at this point and the dog smell is making me want to puke. I grab by bags and say "Thank you...I have to run...lots to do today" And pratically run out the door. She calls me on my cell to let me know I forgot my receipt. No way I am going back to get it, I tell her I'm all set. She offers to drop it off at my house later and I say that's fine. She better leave Chucky in the car.

Apparently this is all the rage right now...

Rick was telling me about it the other day. They did it at work...apparently they use the term 'work' very loosely there ;) Then today I read about it on Rosie O'donells blog (don't even ASK how I ended up there....lol)...so I do a little search on youtube...and there are a million videos of people trying this in various forms. I guess none of us every really grow up ;)

We will be trying this one next week at camp with the kids :)

I do not appreciate getting taken advantage of!!

I am a stay-at-home-mom. My husband and I chose this life because we think it's important that we raise our children. Not a daycare center or a babysitter. I also chose this life because I enjoy my freedom. I enjoy playing with my kids at the drop of a hat. I enjoy scrapbooking when I want and cleaning when I feel like it. I fully realize that I have it made in the shade ;)

What I DON'T LIKE is the fact that people seem to think that because I don't work, I am free to do thier errands, complete thier projects, look up prices, recipes, and other various tidbits on the internet, and watch thier children. I also hate the often heard, "Well I stopped by but you weren't home," in that accusatory 'how dare you' voice.


Of course I don't really usually mind doing most of those things..sometimes it's fun. But sometimes I feel like when you ask me to do those things you are saying, "I am much too busy and important to bother with such menial tasks...but you aren't." I realize that's my own issue/delusion, but I am willing to bet I am not alone in that particular crazy train of thought. Now don't you all fly off the handle when you read this thinking I am talking about you. I am venting and I have the right to do so....after all...I am now in the 5th hour of watching someone else's kids that were supposed to be here for 1. But please do think twice next time you think to yourself about ANY stay-at-home-mom, "well I'll ask _____ to do it...she doesnt have anything else to do." I'm willing to bet she does.

Wet n' Wild weekend

Sean is SWIMMING!!!

So, obviously I cavesd an went to the lake yesterday, and I am glad I did because Sean decided it was the day he was going to learn to swim!! I started out holding on to him and telling him to "swim like a dog," but he was having none of that yelling at me that "I can teach MY SELF to swim BY MY SELF!" Ok then. So I laid off ...and he wasn't kidding...he CAN teach himself to swim. He would walk out at deep as his neck and doggie padddle to where he could stand...over and over again. He is no pro yet...and if it's anything like the McD's playplace, I will have to remind him next time we go swimming that LAST time he swam and of course he still can...but it's a start!! I have a feeling by the end of our week at Mooshead next week, I will have a whole family that can hold their own if the whole Noah's Ark thing ever goes down ;)


We also got the kids a Slip n' Slide...which Rick and I are calling the 'Slip n' Fall'...what a fiasco. For real. I thought they would have a blast with that. All I had as a kid was the white trash version of trash bags duct taped together with a garden hose laying on the top. We get it all set up and Sean goes first. He runs all the way down the thing as we are screaming "SLIDE ON YOUR BELLY!!!" and then slips and falls backwards and starts crying. Now its Jessi's turn. She gets a good running start, chickens out at the beginning, and instead of diving on her belly, she goes down on her knees and SHE starts crying. Rick yells from the porch where he is watching, "WOW HONEY!! This may be the best thing you ever bought them!! It had 'em both crying in less than 5 minutes! Way to go!" So both kids run into the house crying and yelling, "I HATE THAT THING!" "TAKE IT BACK!" "I AM NEVER TRYING IT AGAIN!" Good times. About an hour later they went back out and still won't slide on it, but had fun getting wet and playing in the sprinklers that are all over it...so I guess it was worth the $6.97 ;)

BUI

Wow. Rick officially has orders that if he is going to start mixin' and a pourin'....he needs to take the computer away first...rofl.

I would delete....but that would make me a hypocrite....

Speaking of hypocrites... Rick and I were talking about being hypocritical last night. He thinks he can't tell the kids not to get tatoos, or smoke, or get piercings because he did all those things. I COMPLETELY disagree. Yes I smoked cigarettes...and other stuff, yes I drank, yes I did...other stuff.... but that doesn't mean I am a hypocrite if when I tell them they can't. I am a parent. My house, my rules. When they are teens, I am going to be on those kids like white on rice. I think it's very important to be home with my kids while they are little, but I think it's maybe even MORE important to be here for them after school when they are teens. BAD stuff happens between the hours of 3pm and 6pm...any parent that thinks, "Well Johnny is a really good kid....he would NEVER...." Is just asking to someday pick Johnny up at the local police station, or to be a grandparent sooner than they thought they would.

Dude y'all are boring...

No blogs... no posts... no blogging at the same time about the same thing then gettin' all wound up because you think the other one was makin' a dig when tehy really weren't so then making a real dig yourself then delelting it...then delteing even that one too. SIROUSLY!!!!! Where is my entertainment!!? Isn't it ALL ABOUT ME!!!??? Have I had ONE too many!? And why is Rick making me watch all these queer ass country videos...ok....I like some of them...I admit...but ...Rick is still queer....ok...not queer....obviously. This new Toby Keith video is really funny. Can I barracade Rick behind a brick wall? Since as we speak...he is lamenting why he can't wear a big hat and look hot but Toby Keith can. Wait. Did he just say Toby Keith was hot?

This post is boring.

A nice break after a long day of schmoozing.

Today was the day of the annual American Home Partners BBQ Which is basically a day of people talking about building houses. Not very exciting to others, which makes it more exciting to be able to talk to others who have also used the program and ARE excited to talk about it ;) (i.e. bitch about stuff, compare houses, and do the 'my house is better than your house' and 'I did way more myself that you did' kind of thing ;) ) It was just Me and Sean, just like last year. Jessi is always quick to find other things to do that day, and Rick works on Saturdays and an AHP BBQ is not 'take the day off' worthy in his book. So while I schmoozed, Sean did his own schmoozing with his 'harem'...lol. He was the only little boy among all the kids and completely played the part. They were getting him sodas, pushing him on the swing, and generally 'all up in his grill' all day long....and he was LOVIN' IT! Daddy would be SO proud ;)

After a long hot, and EXTREMELY humid day...Sean crashed while watching some TV and I did some peaceful, shadow-free cleaning. Rick came home and grilled some hotdogs for supper and he and Sean lit off some of the contraband South Carolina fireworks that Rick brought home. Those truckers really know how to grease the guy in charge of scheduling maintenence ;) Hmm.....that didn't sound very good...lol...leavin that one alone....

Tomorrow if it's nice, Swan Lake ...if it's nasty, SCRAPPIN'... Is wrong to hope for nasty? 

Fireflies

OK...so this is a bad picture. If someone can show me a way to take pictures of darkness speckled with thousands of fireflies...please let me know :)

I have never seen as many fireflies as I have in my own backyard. I guess that is the positive way of looking at the fact that we have a meadow instead of a lawn ;) It is SO COOL to look out there at night and see THOUSANDS of tiny little lights twinkling. Tonight the kids and I did some firefly catch and release. Jessi was the jar holder and her method of catching was using the jar and the lid. Guess what Sean's method was? NO...not with his teeth...lol! Relaying the story to Rick I said, "Sean uses his bare hands to catch the fireflies." Sean looks at me with disdain, then looks at his hands and says, "NO!!! They are not BEAR hands!! They are DRAGON hands" ROFL!!!

So we had our fun catching some fireflies...or 'lighter bugs' as Sean calls them. We then brought them in and turned off the lights and watched them for a little while. Jessi then declared that it would be best to let them go tonight so that they don't die. So we did :)

OK...here is my rendition of the evening...lol....

Never could turn down a dare

Yes...that is my underwear on my head.


No...you don't want to know :p 

Co-ed sleepover ;)

Awwwwww......... How freakin cute are they? I think there are few things cuter than a bunch of kids asleep like a big ole pile of puppies :)
Sean and Jessi get along SO WELL with thier potential cousins. I really am pulling for Scott and Sara to stay together for each other AND for the kids! Sean finally has a boy buddy to come over and play with him. Jessi has someone to play with at all the family functions now...rather than feeling like a babysitter to a million little rugrats ;) Sara was in a childcare bind the past 2 days, so I offered to watch the kids. They were here all day yesterday, went home for the afternoon and came back after dinner for a sleepover. They are all so amazingly well behaved when they are all together. They spent 90% of the time outdoors playing...which was nice :) At 8pm last night they set up thier blankets in the livingroom and snuggled in. I set up 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and headed up to my room with Rick to watch TV. I came down at 830 to check on them and they were all already conked out! They looked so cute...of course, I HAD to take some pictures. And of course, since the lights were dim, I had to take about 20 to make sure I got at least 1 good to scrap. Scrappin' is all about the pictures after all ;)

ETA: GOOD DEED REWARDED!!! In-laws just stopped by with their leftover Smokey Bones for the human garbage disposal...I mean Rick... AND they told me that they are taking the kids to Swan Lake for the day tomorrow! So I will be celebrtating KID FREE THURSDAY!! WOOOO HOOO!!

I DON'T LIKE BUGS! In fact...I LOVE the outdoors...but hate bugs so much that I am a self-proclaimed 'indoor girl.'

So...of course...the funny lady Fate is...she gives me a little bug loving boy. A boy who is happiest spending his time outdoors hunting for bugs. He even has 'equipment.' He has a bug vacuum that not only sucks up the bugs...but it sucks them into a chamber that has a magnifying glass attached....and a back up chamber in case ...well... I don't know what the 'in case' would be. Of course, as fun as his bug vacuum is...he is a naturalist and prefers to catch critters with his bare hands. He also has his trusty bug cage. A cage that at this very moment houses 2 ladybugs, 1 large unknown beetle, 2 grasshoppers, a crane fly (thank you google), a butterfly wing (found that way...no harm has come to any butterflies during this post), and a spoon sans handle with water in it "because 'the bugs are thirsty'. He also has a fish tank out on the porch that did house a salamander that he found, but 'Sammy' didn't make it. He is very enthusiastic about his bug catching and keeping skills...so much so that he tends to forget that...

1. Mommy doesn't like bugs
2. Bugs belong OUTDOORS

So...my days lately are spent reminding him of those 2 facts....over and over again. I am such a lucky mom ;)

 

Fame and Fortune!!

OK...maybe just a little fame ;) Jessi is now getting her 1 minute of fame EVERY DAY at 7:42am. She is now part of The Human Clock !! So next time you're at the computer in the morning, head to the human clock! You can even have it in a cute little window while you do your other stuff. For even MORE fun....take a fun pic and become part of the clock yourself! Jessi had a blast thinking of ideas and is already brainstorming for her next clock submission.

It must be Jessi's week because not only is she getting her minute of fame every day, she is the star of one of my scrapbook pages that is going to be published in an e-zine's August/September issue!

Guess I'd better go and ground her or make her clean her room or something....don't want all that fame to go to her head ;)

Hopefully NOT a summer preview!

We have had one of those crying days. I don't think I have heard a normal voice tone yet today. Just whining, fussing and crying. It was too hot to play outside...inside every game ended in someone crying about....who the hell knows!? Once I started cooking dinner it just got worse. Since I was using cornstarch to make my Moo Goo Gai Pan...a lightbulb went off that I had never made 'goo' with Sean before. So 2 bowls of cornstarch a little bit of water and both kids were happy as clams...and are now playing with it AGAIN now that dinner is over. I :heart: cornstarch. ROFL

How is is possible that _I_ have a daughter that is reading "Are You there God? It's Me Margaret?" When I see her I still see my precious little curly haired blonde 3 year old. I see her sitting on the couch reading books and studying her 'hooked on phonics' cards....determined to learn to read. Which she did...and was reading before she started kindergarten. I see my little girl always willing and ready to be dragged along on any road trip her fairy godmother Nicole and I had the whim to take. That same determined little girl, while always up for adventure....was a bit of a chicken ;) There were many more than 1 time that I found myself climbing up into the McDonald's Playplace to retrieve a screaming, terrified Jessi.

I can't believe how time has flown. She is now a full blown TWEEN!! Mood swings included. She is on the phone constantly. The phone starts ringing at 700am with friends calling her to plan their outfits for the day. She spends her allowance on teen magazines, make-up and clothes. She doesn't even ask anymore to look at the toys when we go to walmart. My jaw dropped to the floor last week when she asked if she could start SHAVING! (She's jumping the gun on that one a bit...lol...and was quickly denied). It all kind of hit me when we went to the library for storytime yesterday. She wanted to check out 'Are you there god....' and while my initial reaction was NO WAY...I read the description and the book is about a girl her age....going thru all the same things...and COMPLETELY AGE APPROPRIATE! So I guess it's time to face reality. My little girl is growing up. Damn I really need that puppy. 

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sooooooooooooo peeved right now...'peeved' really doesnt cut it, but the other word with get me censored. We were SUPPOSED to go get the puppy Friday...this is the third week in a row we have been "supposed" to get him. The first week it was that they wanted to nueter him before we got him, the next week they decided NOT to get him nuetered, that we could go ahead and do it ourself...but we couldn't get him because of a logistics/work schedule thing, and NOW we are back to the freaking nuetering before we can have him thing. They are afraid we will breed him and sully his impeccable pedigree. I am SO insulted...I would NEVER breed a dog...that is SO irresponsible!! Not to mention I would never want an un-nuetered dog in my house....yuck. The worst part of it all is...I have never even spoken to...or even MET... the dog people...FIL (father-in-law) has been the go-between. So I can't be peeved at him...so I am just all pissed off now and have nowhere to direct it, so I am just acting bitchy to everyone. If it was anyone else I'd say fuck it and find a puppy somewhere else....in fact, on the aussie board there is someone looking for a home for thier 5 month old puppy in Maine right now....but no...can't do that because it would jeopordize FIL's relationship with his friend...and that wouldn't be good.

Oy! So now I am thinking that it would be better maybe to just wait til we get back from our week at Moosehead the week of the 4th. But...I want my puppy!!! Of course....by the time we get him he won't even BE a freaking puppy anymore!

School's OUT FOR SUMMER!!!

Yesterday was Jessi's last day of school. YAY!! We have a great summer in store for us! I told the kids the other day that just because they are not going to any summer camps (as they both would rather I poke hot needles in their eyes than send them to camp), doesnt mean we are going to be lazy summer couch potatoes!!! Sunday and Monday are Rick's days off and we are always busy doing family stuff on those days, Wednesdays are 'B and Grampa' days (super fun for the kids in the summer because they usually go to fun places and do fun things....super fun for me because I get to do WHATEVER I WANT!!!!!), Saturday is always our big cleaning day, and I told them that Friday is going to be Field Trip day!! Every Friday we are going to take off in the morning to somewhere fun like the beach, fort knox, and maybe we can find some new 'fun spots.' Jessi will be busy several Thursdays also going on the field trips that the town sponsors for the kids. We are also planning a day trip, or overnight trip (depending on fundage) to Old Orchard Beach. Can you believe I have NEVER been there!? Sad, I know. We were going to do Storyland this summer, but I think we will hold off on that one til next year when Sean is 5...then we can combine it with school shopping in North Conway! (<---ok...reality hit right there and I wanted to cry a little...SCHOOL!? NO more babies at home...WTH am _I _ going to do!!??.....lol)

So the kids are off already on thier trip with B and Grampa today. They are being super secretive about the destination...just specified that the kids need a jacket and shoes to wear that can get wet. They are too funny...like it's some super secret spy mission. Tomorrow Jessi has no field trip so we are doing storytime at the library and the playground. Friday is Field trip day...BUT...THIS Friday is a little different. B is coming over to stay with the kids while Grampa and _I_ go on a field trip to southern Maine to pick up our new PUPPY!!!! We are all busting with excitement in anticipation for our new Aussie puppy to come home! We already have all kinds of toys, bones, GATES (lol), now all we need is the puppy!

Never a dull moment...

Sean Dynamite...



And that's all I've got to say about that.

I like nice :)

What a nice weekend....mother nature even graciously shared a bit of sun with us today:) Rick was happy as a clam to be able to tackle some of the outdoor projects he has been wanting to do....including putting up our porch swing that we got as a housewarming gift. Sean was just as happy to be 'working' by his dad's side.

While the boys played outside, the girls...and Uncle Tim (lol) played inside. Tim came over to do his laudry and his girlfriend Christy came along to SCRAP! YESSSSSSSSS!! SHE SCRAPS!!!!!!! WOOO HOOO!!! She is not 'quite' as into it as I ....but she will be. ::::insert evil laugh here:::: I sent her home with LOTS of tools an goodies that I don't use anymore. I even gave her my old scrapbooking tote to rescue ;) her from the plastic sterilite tote she had her stuff in. We had a great time scrapping, and Jessi was delighted that she was able to join us too.

Yesterday Nicole and Sophie came over to play! Nicole brought her scrap stuff and a YUMMY lunch of KFC bowls. DAMN those things are delish! Nicole and I never quite made it to the scraproom...lol... We spent most of the day catching up on our celeb gossip, taking online quizzes, and just chatting. Sean and Sophie played so nicely together. Gone are the days that Sean spent being Mr. Bully. He is such a gullible little boy...lol... and Sophie is a clever little girl...she SO has him wrapped around her little finger. Just the way it should be ;)

Rick is going fishing with one of his buddies tomorrow. So it will be a nice quiet bacon-free (the man is OBSESSED with huge breakfasts on his day off!) morning. I can spend it cleaning up from our weekend of fun.

I am savoring the feeling of this nice calm weekend....next weekend will have a VERY different tone ;)

After reading a certain blog...the topic of personality disorders has been on my mind today. It wasn't very clear in said blog if the person was talking about thier own struggles in that department, or if they were trying to send some cryptic message to one of their readers? Later that day I was talking to my mom (the ex-psych nurse and current nurse educator) on the phone about personality disorders and the fact that EVERYONE has one to some degree. How everyone is different and individual...but that there are only so many 'types' of personalities. I think the whole 'disorder' part is a convenient way to sell medication and psychiatric treatment. All of such "treatments" are a moot point anyway because you can't change someone's personality. I know that many out there don't agree with my views on the psych world at ALL and my best friend and I have had MANY a heated argument when this topic comes up. (it gets realllllly heated when we get talking about alcohol and drug abuse and my belief that it's a choice and not a disease...but that's a whole other blog ;) )BUT....being the antisocial personality that I am...there is no changin' my mind ;) SO....While Rick watched the NHL Finals (GAG!) I found a bunch of online 'personality disorder' tests. According to THIS one I am 84% Antisocial...40 something% avoidant. All my others were below the average.
http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder.HTML

According to THIS test http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv ...I am rated high in the narcissistic category (oh my!) I also rated moderate in paranoid, antisocial and histrionic categories.

In another one which I can't find the link to I was diagnosed with ADD (ROFL...I SOOO am not ADD...had to laugh at that one!)

So what have we learned today kiddies? Well...for one thing you shouldn't rely on the Internet for your psychiatric needs. For another thing....I have heard time and time again throughout my life that you should NEVER attempt to diagnose ANYONE unless you are a doctor...and since I don't know any of those personally...I shouldn't be hearing anyone throwing around diagnosises around like cream pies.

And last of all a challenge to you all to find me someone who is 'normal'. I dare you.

Out of sorts

I don't know what is going on with me the past couple days. Maybe this stay-at-home mom gig is driving me insane. Yesterday morning there was a huge GROSS tick on the floor in my hallway. The cat had just come in from being out all night, and since she's on that medication that kills them right away....I guess it just dropped off when she came in. That is just freaking disgusting. I COMPLETELY freaked out! Managed to pick it up with a sock and flush it down the toilet. Then threw the sock away 'just in case' (just in case what?... you say? I don't KNOW!) It is about 36 hours later and I STILL have the heebeejeebees. Rick went to bed before me last night and when I went up to bed I turned on the light and made him get up so I could inspect the bed. He LOVED that ;) I went to the grocery store and the friendly cashier pointed at the sidewalk chalk I had in front of me and said, 'gonna do some drawing?' I couldn't hear her ...only saw her pointing at what I thought was ME...and had a mini freak-out...brushing my clothes off trying to find the bug on me that didnt exist. So, of course I had to explain the whole thing.....highlight of HER day I'm sure.

Which leads us to tonight. I am sitting here in the dark watching "Mythbusters." Rick is upstairs playing xbox. I had just poured myself a glass of my beloved diet lemon pepsi and took a sip and set it behind me on the table. As I watch the show I can hear the soda fizzing and bubbling (I thought that's what I was hearing anyway), so I turn around to grab the glass and take another sip and am instantly 2 inches away from the piercing eyes of the FREAKING CAT...who must have been behind me cleaning herself making the sound I thought was the fizzing. I SCREAMED bloody murder, the cat jumps about 12ft in the air and flys out of the room at light speed. Rick comes flying down the stairs to see if I am ok...and of course by the the time he sees me I am a raving lunatic laughing in hysterics at myself...while my heart is still pounding about 1000 mph. Speechless and shaking his head...he heads back upstairs. So here I am. Heart back to regular speed. Cat still AWOL. Me with a full-on case of the heebeejeebees again because for all I know this whole thing is part of some 'master cat plan' so not only was she trying to scare the shit out of me...she also left some ticks behind here on the couch to eat me as revenge for the numerous thorough full body inspections that she has had to endure today.